7 Common Causes of Relationship Anxiety

Relationship anxiety is not happening for nothing. Sometimes, it’s resulting from the things beyond a person’s control and sometimes, it’s just created in the mind. Whether it’s just created or resulted from something, one sure thing is that it is triggered by a variety of causes.

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1.    Money Issues – Finances are responsible for causing a lot of anxious moments. A wife can blame her husband for spending recklessly on things they don’t need to buy. The husband suffers from an anxiety attack by blaming himself for not controlling the financial expenses of the family. Money issues trigger anxiety in relationships because they reflect a person’s inability to control his own environment.

2.    If one thing is not happening, it’s the other – One biggest cause of relationship anxiety is that arising problems, no matter how big or small they are, don’t seem to end simply because the person thinks about those things that way. There is no perfect relationship. So why think of future problems when in fact, they’re not coming yet? What if they happened differently? Does it mean that it’s another problem?

3.    Failure to understand what’s causing the anxiety feeling – If the feeling of anxiety is already causing problems in a relationship, it’s important to determine and understand the cause of anxiety. Failing to identify the cause of anxiety can also cause the relationship of both people to fail.

4.    Negative thoughts that produce negative relationships – One of the major causes of having relationship anxieties is negativity. It is insidious. The relationship can slowly turn into a negative one without both partners realizing it. Often, negative relationships are built on small things, and the feeling of negativity is something that can become habitual.

5.    Loss of Trust – In relationships, this is one serious matter to deal with. The most common cause of loss of trust is infidelity especially when the person who committed it is blindsided. Losing trust can also be the result of thinking too much about the future than focusing on the present. The relationship is good as of the moment, but it will eventually turn to sour whatever reason is felt.

6.    Assuming what other people are thinking – to avoid this cause, find out the person’s actual feelings and don’t try to guess them based on actions. Actions are not considered as an accurate basis of people’s true feelings. In some cases, a person misinterprets other people’s actions with their true feelings when in fact they don’t really mean anything at all. That’s the reason a person should not quickly jump to a conclusion that these people are angry at him for whatever reason. It could be like they are just in a bad mood and opted to be alone or they are just preoccupied with something that’s why they forgot to say hello.

7.    Excessive worries about what the future might bring – As mentioned earlier, relationships can be damaged if a person spends time thinking about future problems instead of dealing with the present ones. Anticipating future problems that are not likely to arise as exactly as they were on thoughts can cause inability to deal with the current problems. Chances are, solutions to problems will always be questioned by “what ifs”.

Relationship Counseling

Counseling is about helping another human being realize that there is a way out of a difficult problem or situation. Sometimes, this is done by changing one’s perspective on it. It means helping people find the ways to effectively handle their situation and problems, or equipping them with tools to do so. Counseling may be given by a support group such as friends or done professionally by a trained therapist. Anyone can acquire counseling skills but it, is the trained therapist who invests time and energy learning how to maneuver a successful therapy session.

A31 3Relationship counseling involves giving advice to couples going through difficulties in their relationship. Couples who are thinking of giving up on their relationship are usually the ones who voluntarily go through counseling in the hopes of saving what they could save in their relationships.

For therapist doing relationship counseling or those who are sometimes asked for advice in solving relationship problems, there are a few guidelines to remember in doing the job. It is best to remember that you are not your client or friend that is undergoing the difficulty. You may empathize with the similar scenario but keep your emotional distance to avoid giving your client or friend your own understanding and point of view and advice. You must allow your friend or client to do the sorting of their own problem. As a therapist, you are there to listen and challenge your client or friend’s view of the situation and attempt to clear the image so it can be properly evaluated for possible concrete solutions.

Relationship counseling should help look at the relationship objectively. Couples should stop blaming each other and instead look at what is happening to them in the process. How the couple interacts with each other is the basis of how the therapist would be able to shed light on how to better help the couple look at themselves in the relationship.

Once the patterns of interacting with each other have been shown, relationship counseling aims at modifying the dysfunctional behavior. This stage is important in preventing more damaging actions as conflicts begin to escalate. It is the hope of relationship counseling that couples become more emotionally honest with each other. Emotional avoidance is a difficult pattern to overcome, but if both would start being open to expressing their feelings, then there is a great chance the relationship will survive. The ability to express their emotions will help the couple to communicate more effectively. It is usually the unmet needs of each other that start the downward spiral of any relationship. It is necessary that emotional awareness and positive communication be discussed so the couples can help themselves resolve their issues.

Relationship counseling must eventually promote the relationship strength for the couple. Other areas of the relationship where the couples are good at should also be discussed to emphasize that the relationship is not all problems. Couples should be able to make a positive narrative of their relationship to strengthen their partnership and help them move forward after a better understanding of each other.

Relationship Issues: When to Fight and When to Let Go

When people get into a relationship, it is always with the expectation that it will be forever. However, we know for a fact that being in a relationship with someone you love and care for is not always a bed of roses. There will be ups and downs, differences which you must settle and issues that you must confront. Some of these issues can be major factors that can affect how you decide whether you will stay on in the relationship or just let it go.

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Ascertaining whether your relationship is worth fighting for or if it’s time to let go can be quite confusing and overwhelming. However, deciding whether to stay or walk away is a very difficult decision that individuals in a troubled relationship should consider. To help you determine when to fight for your love and when to let go, here are some factors to consider.

One or both of you are not happy anymore

If you are not happy anymore with the relationship and your significant other makes you feel lonely and unimportant even if he is around, you should let go. The longer you stay the more miserable you will get, and that does not bode well for both of you and your relationship. Of course, you should only decide to walk away if you have tried all probable ways to rekindle the fire and the happiness that you both felt at the start of the relationship. However, you should set a deadline for trying such since you can’t spend all your life trying to find ways to make each other happy. Life is too short to be spent in misery, hence, don’t waste your time in unproductive efforts.

The relationship becomes a one-way traffic

A relationship is a two-way traffic. Both parties should make effort to contribute to its growth and compromise when necessary. However, if only one partner is trying to make the relationship work; if the other always ends up giving in and making sacrifices to maintain peace, then by all means LET GO. If you have tried talking with your partner and getting to the issues that bother you but your significant other just try to downplay it or totally disregard your effort, then you don’t have any reason to stay.

One of the partners is habitually cheating

If your partner is cheating on you and you find out that it is not just a one-night stand affair, then it’s time to let go. Of course you can opt to just forgive your partner and give them another chance. However, if you had been routinely doing it every time your loved one cheats, then it is high time that you re-evaluate your values and priorities. Are you really willing to stay in a relationship wherein your partner habitually cheats on you? Whether it’s the woman or the man doing the cheating, there’s no excuse for the behavior when done repeatedly over the course of your being together.

Abuse in the relationship

When your partner is emotionally, mentally or physically abusing you and despite standing up to them or avoiding circumstances that gravitate towards abuse, they still continue their unwarranted behavior then you should walk away and never look back. Nobody has the right to hurt or torture you and you should not let anyone do it to you.

Bailing out from a relationship is a hard decision, especially if you really love the other person. However, if the other person is not making you feel loved, treasured and takes you for granted most of the time then there is no reason anymore for you to linger on. You can fight for the relationship if you feel that there is still hope that your partner will change for the better or you feel that he or she loves you but just don’t know how to express such love for you. Nonetheless, if after trying for several times you still end up feeling alone despite their actual presence, then it’s time move on. You can’t live your partner’s life. If they are not willing to do their share in the relationship, then don’t sweat it out. Great relationships do not entail sacrifice and misery.